I can’t give blood. My marriage has lasted for 37 years and I have gotten to celebrate our love, our commitment, our good luck to find each other, 37 times. That’s amazing; what a blessing. We love to celebrate each other with private and public celebrations on the date. Cards, dinner out, a special date night, and of course the social post tagging each other so our friends can see we still care for each other. But so many good people see that post and know they didn’t make it to 37. For their own reasons their marriage did not persevere as ours has. But, what does that have to do with giving blood?
Giving blood is so important, it is truly the gift of life. Strangers literally bleed for humans they will never meet just because it’s the right thing to do. I gave blood for first time in College and decided to keep it up. A quick pinch, some orange juice, and I was on my way feeling like I had helped someone. I liked it, and people told me it was healthy. Win. Win. These ads aways inspired me to give more, and to encourage others.
Then I was diagnosed with a rare cancer, a kind the specialists say can never be fully erased. It cannot be detected in a dense tumor, but small bits could be in the bloodstream in hard-to-detect amounts. To be safe, no blood donation is allowed. It’s called Uveal Melanoma in case you’re curious about rare eye cancers.
When I see blood donation ads on the interwebs, or TV, or wherever, it’s a reminder that I have cancer. It’s a little poke in the face. “Be a good person”, “Donate Blood like a good person” and since I can’t I hear those little pokes differently. You are not good enough to give blood. You’re sick.
I am not sick. I had a disease that was, is, dangerous and could still kill me. It’s wrong to expose other people to that and I am 100% fine refraining from giving blood. But the reunion thing. When I post that I am happy my amazing wife and I made it to 37 I am hyper-aware that so many wanted to, hoped to, prayed to, and did not. My posting about the happy event could easily cause others pain. Essential empathy makes me feel pain because of that and this post is about that awareness. We are so happy to have made it to 37, and we wish everyone had the same experience, and we’re sorry if our celebration caused pain in others. I’ll try to look past the Red Cross ads knowing they meant no harm.
